He's All Mine Ladies

Try to control yourselves.

Cardiologist appointment tomorrow. For better or worse.

I'm Floored

We bought this house, a house that we could afford on less than 1/3 of our current income, nine years ago so I could stay home with our son. We loved everything about the house except for the decor (think LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION or AFFORDABLE AFFORDABLE AFFORDABLE). All of the decor.

Can I say it again in another way? Picture butt ugly seventies decor in a house built in the 80s by color blind, wall paper fiends. Let me continue. The wife was a Jazzercise or Aerobics instructor. So, picture someone in a Jane Fonda-ish thong leotard, with a headband, wall papering and Jazzercizing and scampering around on shag carpet with leg warmers on.

I feel better. Almost.

I've worked around and eventually replaced rust colored shag carpet, sheaves of wheat wallpaper (OK, I'll confess. I didn't work around this for very long, in fact, it was gone almost before we were completely unpacked. It had to go. I mean, come on, they even put it in the guest bathroom). I've overlooked and decorated in spite of a horrendous kitchen with harvest gold counter tops and fake parquet floors. I've entertained, filling the house with great people who were even more wonderful because they overlooked the obvious hideousness (the sign of great friends). And I've done this for almost ten years now.

So, these floors are a long time coming. And I've been shopping for them for almost the whole time we've lived here. You know your floors are ugly when the cement board that you put down to prep for tile looks better than what you've been living with.

These pictures might not mean much to anyone else, but this blog is for me and I want to remember this. I've mopped four times since we got them, which for me is a huge indication that I really like them. Because I don't mop easily. Heck, I even got down on my knees to scrub them and while I was there I said just a little prayer.

Thank you.

Thank you for keeping me grounded, literally. Thank you for keeping me focused on the kid, not stuff and for surviving almost a decade on fake hardwood (which I believe is part of the martyring of saints--I'm just sayin'). Thank you for the gifts you've given us and for the abundance we have even when we think it's not enough. Thank you for the gift of frugality that made these floors possible. Thank you for the reminder that we are oh so fortunate. And for reminding us that needs and wants are very different things.

Amen.

His Achy Breaky Heart

I've decided that I no longer want to be grown up. Enough already.

D confessed to me three weeks ago that he has been having chest tightening/pain while riding his bike. Now, I know him and he pushes hard at everything. 30 mile rides are routine. I didn't think it was anything to be concerned about. He's young, it's probably muscular, right?

Wrong.

His internist rightly ordered a stress test and it showed some narrowing in his arteries. We know nothing more than that. Not anything extremely emergent as that was almost three weeks ago. Anything very serious would have been addressed immediately, but this is still very scary to me. D's grandfather died at the age of 48 because of a heart attack. This isn't something to mess around with.

So, this week, he's seeing a cardiologist and I'm going along. Four ears are better than two and all that.

My hope is that this is just a wake up call to really live a healthier life and that we've caught something early enough to treat. I'm not going to discuss my fears. Honestly, I don't have any yet. One step at a time.

Please Don't Pronounce this Like Something Dirty

Ever have a grocery checkout person comment on everything that you buy? Seriously lady, can't you just keep your comments to yourself? Aren't the maxi pads, nine pounds of chocolate, and four cans of Pringles telling you that you should just tiptoe around this PMS-ing customer?

I had Debbie the Death Clerk the other day. She's slow. She comments on all the "weird" produce that I buy (like artichokes are from another planet). And she seems to take great pleasure in trying to figure out what our weekly menu is. Chicken breasts, onions, tortillas, and stoplight peppers. Fajitas? Yep, we have a winner.

I think it's the incessant beep of the scanner that lulls some clerks into losing it. Maybe it's the fact that they touch our personals that makes them think they have the right to judge, comment, or whatever. Personally, I like a cheery clerk that pays no attention the fact that we cleared the bakery shelves of frosted donuts and that the only thing resembling a vegetable in our cart is corn flakes. This clerk will make pleasant Minnesotan chat about the weather (the universally safe Scandinavian topic of conversation).

But, we got Debbie the other day. And Debbie makes lots of loud comments and seems to enjoy guessing what we're going to make at home. As she did so, I watched the guy behind me with hemorrhoid cream, a case of beer, and a Star magazine head for another lane. I'm sure he anticipated the question, "Up for a big evening?" and he just couldn't take it.

Debbie had a butterfly sticker on her nametag and a banana clip in her hair (haven't seen one of those since the early 90s.) I was so fixated on the banana clip, I almost missed her mispronounciation of fajitas. Not fah-hee-tahs, but more like a part of the female anatomy.

You know those moments when the world slows down and you feel like you're in a white hot spotlight and everyone's looking. Well, it wasn't my moment, it was Debbie's. And she had no idea that she was the star.

Yes, Debbie we're having Fah-heee-TAHS for dinner. And you, my dear, are not.

This is the best fajita marinade. We love it on chicken, but I'm sure flank steak would be delightful too. I always make several batches and freeze them. Then add the meat and marinate in the fridge. Yum.

Fajita Marinade

1/4 cup lime juice

1 tsp olive oil

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp soy sauce

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1/4 tsp black pepper

Mix all in a zip bag, use assembly line method* to make more than one at a time. Freeze until ready to use. Add chicken breasts or lean beef. Marinate at least 8 hours.

* Place zip bags upright and open in glasses or jars. Add one ingredient to each bag, moving down the assembly line. Remove from glasses and seal, removing as much air as possible. Freeze until ready to use. Then applaud yourself for being a perfect example of prime mommy time management and look around to see if Martha Stewart is envious.

Playing with Matches

Sadly, Pokemon Master is not in my Future

An unsupervised trip to Home Depot can result in a detour to several fireworks tents. He's a bargain hunter like me, so the bag o 'works in this picture was quite a deal. Who knew they deeply discounted last year's duds and this year's dented boxes!!??!!

As a mother of an only child, I wear a lot of hats: mom, friend, sibling. The last one is the hardest. You see when you only have one, it's up to you to fill in the gaps.

I have a techy kid. You know, Bill Gates in a smaller package. Which can mean many things. He may invent some computer chip required multiple times by every household in the world some day, so I'll live in a really great nursing home. Or, he'll always live in my basement. Gasp, did I really say that out loud? Young One, this is one more thing that you're just going to have to forgive me for. And hopefully, by the time you read this, you'll be old enough to understand (or at least be rolling on that big pile of green that your computer chip invention has led you to.)

(OK, now honey, money ain't everything and I hope that along with the smarts, cute glasses, and that dimple that gets me every time, that you've at least learned that from me. Go for happy kid and the rest will follow!)

I'm wandering here...

Anyway, video games, strategy games, technical discussions on the merits of one gadget over another, well, they permeate our discussions. And I hate to admit that I don't follow very many of them that well. In fact, I've decided from now on that every time D or Young One starts mentioning this techy jargon that I'm going to launch into a speech about the renal system or how to make a roux.

I just don't get much of it.

And I think I'm a better person for it!

I curse the creators of much of this garbage gaming, craziness card collecting and trading, and more pieces of plastic crap that I can step on barefoot on midnight trips to the bathroom collectible action figures. I've had to try to learn the fine points of Warcraft, Halo, and hear endless conversations about the evolution of Nintendo.

And I love it all. Yes, sometimes I pull from the depths of my soul levels of patience that I had no idea existed. Yes, sometimes, I may say the wrong thing (like the time I misprounounced a character's name IN FRONT OF the gang of friends). I love the fact that my son is normal, healthy, smart, and quirky. I love that he wants to talk to me about all this stuff (despite my learning disability). I love that he's found something that he loves.

And that's really what it's all about.

So, I'm off to take a crash course by Googling Warcraft (his current obsession). I've been informed that Pokemon is for kids (um, and you aren't?) and so the title of this post isn't even valid. Oh well, I've finally become my mother. I'm almost, but not quite, obsolete.

Garlic What?

I'm a pretty devout foodie. There are not many flavors or ingredients that I'm not familiar with. Not that I've tasted everything, mind you, but I read a lot and try to keep myself on top of food trends and different World cuisines.



When I opened my first CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) box that contained garlic scapes. I was clueless. Not only had I never heard of them, but I wasn't quite sure what they were at first glance. I had to read my box note just to see what they were.



Now, I'm wondering how I let these seasonal treats escape me. I'm a garlic fiend. I love all things garlic and to not know about scapes, the tender green shoots that appear before the bulbs do, well, that's just unforgivable.



Now the Internet is a great thing. It makes finding out about anything as simple as point and click. Over and over and over again, I stumbled upon garlic scape pesto recipes. So, I knew I just had to try this. But, could I achieve pesto nirvana without adding all the nuts, olive oil, and Parmesan cheese that traditional pestos require?



In a word, yes. Here you go. If you find garlic scapes at your grocer or local farmer's market. Snatch them up. Grab them all, then gleefully race home ignoring all the people wondering what the heck you're doing with curling, green onion looking thingies. Make this quick recipe and freeze it in ice cube trays. I've been doing that with my homemade basil pesto for years. Then when you're crunched for time, boil up some of your favorite pasta and toss with pesto. Two tablespoons flavors 1/2 pound pasta. Instant dinner.



The Great Scape Pesto

You can use this to top pasta, top toasted ciabatta bread, on grilled sandwiches, or stir into some plain hummus or blended white cannellini beans for a fantastic dip. Bring it to a potluck and be prepared to lecture on the beauty of the scape.



1 cup garlic scapes (about 8 or 9 scapes), top flowery part removed, cut into ¼-inch slices

1/3 cup walnuts, or pine nuts, or almonds

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil--I bet you could cut this down even more, but don't sub, only extra virgin

enough fat free chicken broth to make it a good consistency--forgive me for the vagueness, I'm not good at following recipes

¼-1/2 cup grated Parmesan or Asiago cheese--not the unforgivable stuff in the shaker can

½ teaspoon salt

black pepper to taste



Place scapes and nuts in the bowl of a food processor and whiz until well combined and somewhat smooth. Slowly drizzle in oil and process until integrated. Scrape sides of bowl and add a small amount of chicken broth. The consistency should be pesto-like (duh!) or like natural peanut butter if you've never had pesto before. Scoop pesto out of processor and into a mixing bowl. Add Parmesan to taste; add salt and pepper. Keeps for up to one week in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. Or freeze in ice cube trays, pop out and store in a freezer bag. Take out whenever you need a quick fix.



(Now, if you're not a recipe person like me, this is how I'd do it. Buy as many scapes as you can. Clean as described above. Chop and place as many as you can in the food processor. Pulse a few times and add the nuts, a tablespoon at a time. Shocker: I always measure oil and nuts and other high calorie foods. I never used to, but I do now. Amazingly, a little goes a long way and in order to live healthily, I've decided I have to make this concession. Oh, yeah, back to the freestyle method. Pulse the nuts until chopped, add oil (measure to use the least amount possible), add chicken broth until texture is right. Remove from food processor and stir in Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to taste. Knowing me, I'd probably have to do this several times because if I could find these beauties again, I'd make as much as I could.)